Make your own free website on

|Main Page| Opinion| |Features| |Health| |Weird| |Bitch Page| |News|

Health Related - On Nicotine Withdrawal

For the New Year, my best Friend Doug and I decided to quit smoking. After a couple of days without nicotine we slipped and he bummed a couple of fags from a friend's son.

On inhaling he said "Sweet Jesus, this is good. I feel almost like having a cup of tea with this."

"Simply orgasmic", I replied.

Why is is non-smokers are the most totally friggin' boring people on the earth, who have nothing to compare anything to.

Shortly before that he walked by a counter and admired the small, guardian angel pin I had taken off my jacket before putting it in the laundry.

"Oh, you have a guardian angel" he said.

"It's not working", I replied.

"That's because you're not using it right. You're supposed to take it off every now and then and stick someone in the eye with it."

"Most certainly." I replied. I could see where this would definately improve its functionality.

On Diet

"I don't know how I could have gained ten pounds over Christmas, when I only ate one pound of Chocolates."

On Exercise

I set the time on the stationary bike for 20 minutes. I started to peddle, then got the urge to change into something more appropriately geared for exercise.

Got on again. Peddled some more. Answered two phone calls; fed the cat.

Got on to peddle once more.

Decided I needed some ice water.

Got back on the bike, the timer ticking reminding me I needed something to eat.

Got an apple and got back on the bike again.


Now , what was so hard about that? To think I've always proscrastinated about getting in shape.

To Top

|Main Page| Opinion| |Features| |Health| |Weird| |Bitch Page| |News|